Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
