no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize