4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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