Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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