I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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