her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
