dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Can i not drive my cunt home
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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