girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
