Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
