im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
