dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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