apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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