let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
birth control should be required to get into college
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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