Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
