The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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