does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
