I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
there was a trapeze. enough said
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
