Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
