I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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