Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
