dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize