The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
