just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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