my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
