Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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