Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
