if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize