who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
