Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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