ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
