OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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