Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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