she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize