i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
