Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
