i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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