so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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