ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
