If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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