So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
