Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
