So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
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about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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