ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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