You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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