Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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