Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
