all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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