and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
