i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
