I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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