He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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