normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
