i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
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Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize