I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
whose parrot is this?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
