If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
