there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
