She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
