She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
