it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
