so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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