I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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