As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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