as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
